The Pinwheel
by The Last Little Kodamas
Summary: Yuffie and her shoving her pinwheel up other's rears. It's gotta stop.


The Pinwheel 

by Teg 

"Yuffie we have to talk." said Tifa, who was sitting down on Yuffie's bed looking down on her. 

"Wha? GOO 'way, it's early." Yuffie replied sleepily. 

"It's 4 in the afternoon! It's alright for Vincent to be nocturnal, but not you!" And Tifa pulled Yuffie out of bed by her ear. 

"OWWWWW! What's your problem!" cried Yuffie, who groped for her Pinwheel, but then realized that Tifa was holding it. 

"Gimme my Pinwheel!" 

"NO way! Do you realize that we aren't getting the mail anymore because the mailman is too scared to come?" 

"Well, he shouldn't come if there's nothing for me!" 

"Do you realize that our neighbours won't even come near the house, for fear that they will have your Pinwheel stuck up a very tender part of their anatomy?" 

"Why isn't Cloud giving me this lecture?" said Yuffie, who was extremely mad at losing her precious Pinwheel. 

"OH? Don't you remember? You shoved this thing up his ass just yesterday, and he can't get out of bed!" 

"Oh, yeah." Yuffie giggled slightly, but stopped when Tifa looked at her. 

"I'm taking this away from you permanently, Yuffie." Tifa said gravely. 

"Who made you boss?" shouted Yuffie. 

"Cloud did. He could have made Red 13 boss, but he wasn't going to come in here and yell at you." 

"Yeah well, I can go out and get another one." 

"No you can't, you shoved it up the salesperson's behind there when they were out of stock one day, and they kicked you out forever." 

"OH MAN!" cried Yuffie, "I hate you Tifa! If I only had my Pinwheel!" 

"Well, you don't, and if I see you sticking any other sharp, pointy objects up other's rear ends, then I will be forced to use my ultimate limit break on you." 

"You wouldn't!" Yuffie gasped but Tifa was completely serious. Then she walked out of the room. 

"Stupid Tifa, thinks she can take my Pinwheel away from me! I'll show her!" she muttered, but after she opened her blind, she could see Tifa burning her Pinwheel in the backyard. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Yuffie, and then Cait Sith peeped in her door cautiously. 

"What seems to be the matter Yuffie?" he asked. 

"Tifa took away my Pinwheel and now she's BURNING IT!" Yuffie wept. 

"Oh, how interesting. Gotta go!" With that, Cait Sith hurried away. Yuffie could hear him going out to the backyard joining Tifa. She could see them toasting marshmallows over the charred remains of her Pinwheel. Yuffie was seething, but she couldn't really do anything about it because she saw what happened to people when Tifa used final heaven on them, and it wasn't pretty. She looked out the window again. Now the rest of the household were out there, even Cloud, and they were all toasting marshmallows over her precious Pinwheel. She really wanted to shove her Pinwheel up all their asses, but it was gone. Yuffie's eyes filled with tears. She had good times with her Pinwheel, it was such a shame it had to go this way, with no dignity. Yuffie was becoming really depressed, so she decided to run off with everyone's materia. She knew that it was all behind the fireplace, so she got up, and pulled it out. Ahh, the glittering green orbs made her feel whole again and she ran off into the sunset. 

Everyone came back into the house after having their marshmallows, and Tifa immediately knew something was wrong. Yuffie was gone, and so was all their materia from behind the fireplace. 

"That WHOREBAG!" screamed Tifa, and Vincent came in to see what was wrong. 

"What's the matter Tifa... Oh my god, It's all gone!" 

Everyone ran into the living room, and saw the materia was gone. They were all really upset, Cloud even cried a little, but they were determined to get their precious materia back. They split up into three parties and searched the world. Cloud, Tifa and Red 13 

eventually found her at Wutai, where she had become Queen. They managed to convince her to come back and even bought her a new Pinwheel. She continued to 'gently ram it up people's anuses,' as she so delicately put it, but no one complained, because they loved their materia more than their asses. The moral of this story? There is no moral you fools, this is just something I wrote in a moment of insanity. 

THE END 

Author's Note: Yeah, I agree, this was really messed, I got the idea from diddly squit. I don't even know where I got that from either. Oh well, I think it's pretty funny. Please review, I cry when I don't get reviews. You don't want to make me cry? Now do you? 

- Teg 


End file.
